i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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