it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
