ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
