Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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