covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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