Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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