I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
