just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
