at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
