We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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