Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
