Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
