I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your cock deserves a montage
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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