He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
