She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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