covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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