I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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