in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
