I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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