i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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