she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
