Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
