kristin has been a bad kristin
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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