i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
These tits shall not be calmed
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
