Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
