this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
