just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
