i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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