yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
