D3 body, D1 cock
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
