Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
