Can i not drive my cunt home
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
