Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
