Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
