i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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