We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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