so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
