Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
