oh god the rape fog is back!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
