It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
