Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
