He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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