Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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