8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
