Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
