does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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