I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
