If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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