Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
