Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
