Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
