Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
