you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
