Me. At least after what I've been through.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
